A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job.
The officer asks her some questions:
Officer: What’s 2 + 2?
Blonde: Ummm… 4!
Officer: What’s the square root of 100?
Blonde: Ummm… 10!
Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?
Blonde: Ummm… I dunno.
Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.
The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job.
The blonde replies excitedly, “Not only did I get the job, I’m already working on a murder case!
At the doctor’s office, Tom was getting a check up.
“I have good news and bad news,” says the doctor.
“The good news is you have 24 hours left to live.”
Tom replies, “That’s the good news?!”
Then the doctor says, “The bad news is I should have told you that yesterday.”
A guy had just returned from two weeks of vacation.
He asked his boss for two more weeks off to get married.
“What?” shouted the boss, “I can’t give you more time now. Why didn’t you get married while you were off?”
“Are you nuts?” he replied.
“That would have ruined my whole vacation.”
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