I have an idea

 

I have an idea,” says the father.

He puts a ten-dollar bill, a bottle of whiskey, and a Bible on the coffee table.

“If he takes the money, he’ll be a banker if he takes the whiskey, he’ll be a wino, and if he takes the Bible, that means he’ll be a preacher.”

So the man and his wife hide just before their son comes in the door, and watch from where they’re hiding.

                     

The boy saunters over to the coffee table.

He picks up the ten-dollar bill, looks at it, then sets it down.

He picks up the bottle of whiskey, uncorks it, sniffs it, then sets it down.

He picks up the Bible, leafs through it, and sets it down.

                       

Then the boy takes the money and stuffs it into his pocket, grabs the whiskey, and walks off with the Bible under his arm.

Thinking it had been a long time since he had paid her a compliment, she decides to see if she can get one out of him.

“Honey,” she says, “I feel horrible.”

                       

Silence…

“I look old, fat, and ugly.”

More Silence leaving all semblance of subtlety behind her, she bluntly tells him what she wants.

“I could really use a compliment right now!”

Finally taking his cue, the husband replies,

“Your eyesight is damn near perfect.”