A rather confident man walks into a bar

 



                                                             


A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.

He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, ‘Is your date running late?’

                                                                   

‘No’, he replies, ‘I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it.’

The intrigued woman says, ‘A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?’

‘It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me,’ he explains.

‘What’s it telling you now?’

                                                               

‘Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties…’

The woman giggles and replies, ‘Well it must be broken then because I am wearing underwear!’

The man explains, ‘Damn thing must be an hour fast.’ 




An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice.

The doctor advised that she run 10 miles a day for 30 days.

This, he promised, would help her lose as much as twenty pounds.

The blonde follows the doctor`s advice and after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she`d indeed lost twenty pounds.

                                                             

She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results.

At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question, “How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?”

                                                                    

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