This elderly lady went to the doctor for a checkup.
Everything checked out fine.
The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, “Doctor, I haven’t had make love for years now, and I was wondering how I can increase my husband’s lovemaking drive.”
The doctor smiled and said, “Have you tried to give him pills?”
The lady frowned. “Doctor, I can’t even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache,” she claimed.
“Well,” the doctor continued, “let me suggest something. Crush the pills into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won’t notice a thing.”
The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor’s office quickly.
Weeks later the old lady returned.
She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.
“How did it go?” the doctor asked.
“Terribly, doctor, terribly.”
“Did it not work?”
“Yes,” the old lady said, “It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best lovemaking that I’d had in 25 years.”
“Then what is the problem, ma’am?”
“Well,” she said. “I can’t ever show my face in McDonald’s again.”
A wife woke up from her night’s sleep and began recounting her dream to her husband.
“I dream they were auctioning off tool in this place, “she began, “the big ones went for a tenner and the thick ones went for 20.”
“How about the ones like mine?” asked her husband.
“Those they gave away,” she replied tongue in cheek.
“I had a dream too,” started the husband.
“I dream they were auctioning off fannies. The pretty ones went for a 1000 and the little tight ones went for double that!”
“And how much for the ones like mine?” enquirer the wife to her husband.
“That’s where they held the auction,” he replied.
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